Arkansas loves Larry the Cable Guy. And why not! Most of us have neighbors or friends just like him. Online Little Rock's imaginary humorist, Uncle Brice, thinks a lot like Larry but, for the moment, is not nearly as famous. We're very pleased to provide Larry's philosophical answers to some of life's questions that you must know in order to live properly.
"A day without sunshine is like night."
"On the other hand, you have different fingers."
"42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot."
"99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name."
"Remember, half the people you know are below average."
"He who laughs last, thinks slowest."
"The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap."
"Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have."
"A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory."
"Change is inevitable, except from vending machines."
"If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments."
"OK, so what's the speed of dark?"
"How much deeper would the ocean be without sea sponges?"
"Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines."
"What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?"
"Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, 'What the heck happened?'"
"Just remember -- if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off."
"Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak."
Do you love Larry the Cable Guy? See more of his stuff on this page.
