You might be a redneck if you have a bumper sticker that says,
"MY MOTHER'S AN HONOR STUDENT AT SOUTH LITTLE ROCK JR. HIGH."
Jeff Foxworthy is one of the most wildly entertaining comedians today. Of course, his claim to fame soared when he began teaching the world about rednecks and how important NASCAR is to daily life. NASCAR, according to Foxworthy, is that Non Athletic Sport Created Around Rednecks. And he has a lot more to say.
You might be a redneck if ...
"You think the last words to The Star Spangled Banner are 'Gentlemen, start your engines.'"
"You think Sherlock Holmes is a housing project down in Biloxi."
"You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws."
"Your state's got a new law that says when a couple get divorced, they are still legally brother and sister."
"You got stopped by a state trooper. He asked you if you had an I.D. And you said, 'Bout What?'"
"You think Possum is 'The Other White Meat'"
"You hooked up with your present girlfriend as a result of a message on the wall of the mens' room at the Flying J Truck Stop."
"You think a quarter horse is a ride out in front of the Wal-Mart."
"Your huntin dawg had a litter of puppies in the living room and nobody noticed."
"You think subdivision is part of a math problem."
"The people on Jerry Springer's show remind you of your neighbors."
"Your kids take a siphon hose to 'Show and Tell.'"
"You take a load to the dump and bring back more than you took."
"The blue book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas it has in it."
"A seven course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack."
"You have spray painted your girlfriend's name on an overpass."
"Someone asks to see your ID and you show them your belt buckle."
"Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does."
"You've been on TV more than 5 times describing the sound of a tornado."
Do you love Jeff Foxworthy's comedy? See more of his stuff on this page.
