Arkansas Humor

Health Insurance

We are pleased to inform you of recent updates to our corporate health insurance plan.

Preventive Care Coverage: An apple a day.

Proctology Specialist: Billy Jack at Roto Rooter

Due to the increased requests for Viagra, we have attached to this letter a popsicle stick and piece of duct tape.

Out-of Network Charges: 200%. Please pay the out-of-network physician and remit an equal amount to our insurance provider.

We are pleased to announce a new Hooters location near McCain Mall in North Little Rock. Annual breast examinations will now ...

Vision Care: Please see Preventive Care. If you can see it, you're okay.

Prescription Medication: All prescription medication is now only twenty-five cents. Please see the little vending machine in the break room. The pills are multi-colored and have little M's on them...signifying Medication approved by our plan.

Cosmetic Surgery: Yeah, right?!?

100% Covered, No Cost Benefit: Embalming

Please Note: Our corporate Primary Care Physician (PCP) has moved his office into a nicer area. You should now turn right on the first road inside the trailer park.

Due to the extraordinary efforts of our Health Insurance Committee, we are pleased to inform your that your medical insurance premiums will be only 73% of your salary.

You will soon receive a letter from our corporate Retirement Committee with important changes in your plan.