Protecting your children while they are on the Internet should be approached in a similar way to protecting your children anywhere else. "Don't talk to strangers," don't accept gifts from strangers," and "never go anywhere with a stranger" are three of the more common dont's taught by almost all parents.
Talking to strangers, however, is one of the good things about the Internet. The Internet allows people from all walks of life and cultures to exchange information and to learn more about one another. Of course it has a downside similar to talking to strangers at a playground.
There IS a reason chat rooms, instant messaging and sites similar to myspace.com, bolt.com and buzznet.com are so popular. One of my first online friends lived in South Africa, and I loved the exchange of information about our lifestyles and cultures. That was back when the Internet was in its infancy among personal computer users.
Like everything else in the world today, the Internet has criminals and opportunists who are quick to take advantage of personal information they can get. Our responsibility as a parent and/or concerned citizen is to help insure safety for our own children and their children.
Don't Be Quick to Blame Your Child
There are companies who build lists of email addresses and sell them for profit. Your child could easily receive a questionable email. It's not the child's fault in most cases. Let me ask you this: do you receive credit card offers or home loan offers in the mail stating you have been preapproved? You see, you are on someone's list, and they sold your name and contact information for a profit. Is it your fault that you received that offer?
Anyone with an email account can end up on a list just like anyone with a publicly listed phone number or anyone who has ever purchased anything on credit or had a bank account. The CANSPAM Act of 2003 provided rules that people could follow to legally send out spam emails, including adult-oriented email.
When I cancelled my online service with AOL, they quickly offered me a free email account. Why do you think they made that offer? Out of the goodness of their little hearts, or do you suppose they wanted to keep me on a list to receive commercial email?
There may be dozens of areas in life where I just fell off the turnip truck, but the Internet is not one of them. I was surfing Internet for ten years before Al Gore invented it!!! (Okay, in all honesty - it is a whole lot better now after the work his group performed. I like to look at it as an old fixer-upper that the Clinton administration, under Gore's leadership, renovated and modernized.)
Modernization made it easier for everyone, including criminals. We must learn how to teach ourselves and our children to use it safely.
Internet "Gun Safety"
One of the favorite parent-child activities for many Arkansans is hunting, and it can lay a relationship foundation between the two that will last a lifetime. Is there any family reunion in our state that doesn't include the telling of at least one hunting story?
You DID NOT hand your child a gun and say, "Let's go hunting." Before the actual hunt there was a training period that included how to aim and fire properly and how to be careful with a firearm. You know, things like never have a shell in the chamber when crossing a fence, climbing a tree, or getting in or out of a vehicle.
So let me ask you this: did you hand your child a computer and say, "Have fun" without any further instruction?
Children Are Limit Testers
Our children certainly tested their limits, and yours have or will, too! They actively seek the line in the sand that is not to be crossed, and they cross it to see what parents will do. Is disciplinary action taken, or is the line moved? Beth and I, many times, must hide a smile as we watch our grandson test his father. He knows when dad moves toward him, it's time to vacate whatever he was doing.
Do you think your child's activities on the computer will be any different from any other part of their life? Not so! They will actively test the limit of what can be done on the computer and on the Internet.
The question, then, is this: how do you know what you child is doing? How can you know what your child is doing?
- Place the computer in a family area that is easily visible
- Set time limits for when your child can use the computer
- Determine what types of games they are allowed to play
- Monitor their computer activity
- Set automated controls to help you enforce the rules
- Expect the rules to be tested, and plan what action you will take
Of course an entire book could be written about things to do. While no two children are exactly alike, they are all inquisitive. It is our responsibility to do all that is within our power to help them have a positive computer and Internet experience. We must also know that no plan is perfect. Click here to read about
Parental Control Resources.
